Friday, August 15, 2008

I'm not dead...but I should be

Well...back from another month long stoppage. I should really not do that. I am trying to get people to read this and I don't think they will if I keep disappearing for months. I decided to get back into it today cause I actually have something to talk about. I've been back on the good ole' weight watchers for almost 2 weeks now and I am starting for feel things and understand things like I never have before.

This all started with a couple of chicks at work who were talking about losing weight. And we were talking about reward systems and all that jazz. Well I started to think about what could get me to lose weight and it hit me. I want a really cool back tattoo but I never wanted to get it cause that would involve me having my shirt either up or off in public for an extended period of time. And that my friends wasn't going to happen.

I love food. I love to eat when I am hungry, bored, sad, happy, stressed. Really anytime is food time for Laura. The consequence of this forbidden love has been a less than wonderful result in me getting a leeeeetle thick. It was never that much of an issue for me fortunately or unfortunately I guess...I don't really care that much. Luckily, I have a great husband who loves me and supports me and never says anything bad about my body. In fact, he always surprises me with how much he loves it. Sure I get pissed off when I can't fit into the jeans I just bought...but hey that turns into a trip for new pants....soooo....BONUS. Like one of Pavlov's dogs I am in essence rewarding myself for destroying my health. Not pretty.

I also have bad knees from years of catching for a truly shitty park district softball team. I used to spend HOURS in a crouched position, jumping up, crouched, jumping up, repeat repeat repeat. That stress plus the weight has guaranteed pain, swelling, and a wonderful wet grinding pop sound that will literally turn people green when they are near me walking up stairs.

So all of this lead me back last Tuesday to the Weight Watchers online program. Which I have tried before and lost weight and actually liked it. They let you eat what you want but point counting gets you thinking about what you should eat. It is sort of like a game to me. Like how much food can I consume for 2 points. So I am on that and will keep you updated. There are some things tho that I have found very interesting.

1. People go fucking holt shit crazy when it comes to losing weight. Every time I hear others obsess about it the classic Conan O'Brien "stay cool my babies" always pops into my head.

2. When you don't care how long it takes...the pressure and the weight starts flying off. Last time I did this I had this super unrealistic timeline...this time if it takes 2 years, it takes 2 years.

3. Food tastes so much better when you are starving. I keep having moments of "this 100 calorie cookie pack contains the best tasting anythings in the wor...wait...no...this carrot is the best tasting thing in the world."

4. When looked back upon, the things that you ate to get you here...should have killed you dead a long time ago.

5. The BMI index is a load of crap. My"ideal" weight is 139 and that is way too small for me. So ignore that and be where you feel comfortable - I think your body will tell you. 139 is smaller than I was in high school and that is just BMIdiculous.

So...I will keep all the masses updated with my progress. But not too much cause that is boring as hell and not nearly caustic enough to keep me wanting to write about it.