Friday, April 30, 2010

It's Wednesday, I love Rainbow Brite, and oil spills piss me off.

It is in fact wednesday but it is a month later than when I originally wrote this bloggie. I for some reason didn't pull the trigger on it until today. And guess what?! The goddamn oil spill is still leaking oil into the goddamn Gulf. I thought it wouldn't be relevent anymore cause people would be like "oil spill? that was like AGES ago". So that sucks even more. Also, for some reason when I go back into saved bloggies there ends up being only one space after periods instead of two. I'm too lazy to go in and change it all tho so you'll all have to deal with it. Anyway...think of this bloggie as history since it was written in the past and revere it like it's the GD Gettysburg Address.
I've had a headache for like the last 5 days, along with a cough, and sore throat which as I'm sure you could guess, didn't really help my whole hating the world thing. I imagined this morning while crossing the street that everyone in their cars could see a little black rain cloud with lighting flashes above me while I walked grumbling about the stupid sun and the stupid blue sky. It made me rather happy and I decided that I wanted to make a tiny felt rain cloud that I could carry with me on days when I was less than cheery. Suddenly that notion seemed extremely familiar to me and then it hit me. Murky from Rainbow Brite had a little storm cloud that he carried around with him. I had a whole bunch of Rainbow Brite dolls when I was little. I even had the dog and the horse (take that stupid girl down the street that always had the whole set of everything). I loved that show so much. I wanted to be Patty O'Green which is weird cause my nickname in my family is LaLa and there was a character named Lala Orange. She was a little weird for me tho. She was pretty 70's looking and had brown hair. It was supposed to be orange but to me it just looked brown. As the current state of my hair may tell you, I was always excited by alternatively colored hair so Patty O'Green's lucious green mane was all it took for me to love her. Rainbow Brite had pretty much everything I've ever loved in my life and therefore is my go to show for really happy childhood memories. There were rainbows, sprites, girls with powers, adorable bad guys, lots of stars (like star shapes and star decorations), and a puppy. Yep. I'd live in Rainbow Land right now. I'd be replace Lala Orange and do it up RIGHT. I'd ride around on Starlite all day and then Moonglow and I would hang out all night. aaahhhh

But no. I have to live in the real world. The world where we can't seem to do things right. The world where a drill can explode and then leak oil into the ocean at the tune of 5,000 gallons a day. What the fuck?! This would never be allowed in Rainbow Land. Like we don't do enough to the oceans? How come we can't do this shit right? I'm not hippie enough to say that we should stop using oil all together, I don't really know enough about it. But I do know that in this day and age we should be able to make containers that hold oil IN when things happen or we shouldn't do it. We're pretty technically advanced these days...figure it out. Too expensive you say, well, I think the oil companies have got it. In 2008 BP was averaging 42 million pounds per day. DAY. I think someone, somewhere should be able to make oil transportation safer with that kind of money flying around.

I know I'll sound like a bit of an eco nut and trust me I'm really really not, but when the oceans fail, humans fail. Not kidding around if we ruin the oceans we're toast.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

It's Thursday

It's Thursday (as my title so cleverly suggests) and that means that I've had 3 full days of real world, outside of my apartment, time. That means I have hit my limit of stupid activity forgiveness. Coming off the weekend where I've done whatever I want and hung out with friends can make me very forgiving Monday. I may see things that I feel are stupid but I can ignore them. Shove them somewhere deep and pretend they didn't happen. Tuesday I start to let the stupid in a little bit. I'll try not to get mad but it's harder than on Monday. Wednesday is even worse. By now I've seen so many stupid things and people that I'm like 3 events deep in the stupid. I try to forget one and another one pops up. Try to forget that one and I'll remember ANOTHER one. I have no recourse, I have to purge. I'm not Super Woman.

So, my friends, we come upon Thursday. The day that I have become so full of stupid things I've seen, heard, read, been an unintentional participant in that I am literally full. I usually find a way to get rid of all of these stupid things I have in my brain. Either by just telling everyone who will listen or really just telling Mike. These traits usually keep me from having more than a core group of people who can deal with these "purges". I often wonder what would happen if I didn't. I bet if I was one of those people who was really charming (I always assume that if you are charming and friendly that you have something horrible hiding deep down in the depth of your soul that will someday explode out and you will become just like me) one day I'd be at some sort of social function and I'd be telling some funny and charming story and suddenly I'd cough. I'd say excuse me and continue on. Then I'd cough again and some black stuff would come out. I'd be shocked and I'd excuse myself to the bathroom, cause I'm charming and polite, but I wouldn't make it. All those things I've witnessed and swallowed and put down deep in the depths of my soul would come out all at once. They'd all rush me from below, all those stupid things I saw and didn't comment on. I'd turn purple, probably grow a tail, hiss at someone and climb up the walls and out the window. Ultimately Batman would have to capture me and throw me in Arkham before I was able to continue my rein of terror but that's not the point.

The POINT is that I'm thankful for this bloggie cause even if no one reads it, I can get all my anger at the stupid out before I turn purple and start hissing at people. So here we go.

I'm sick of seeing people, and by people I mean hipster a-holes, with their dogs off leash in a major city. The freeway, you know like 80 MPH 8 lanes of traffic freeway, ends in front of our apartment when it turns into another street. Letting your dog walk freely along a road that is a transition from freeway to regular road is insane and stupid and it drives me to drink. I almost stole a little weiner dog yesterday cause some hipster douche- I mean person- was lazily looking for him while the dog ran in and out of an intersection bike/bus lane. I stopped the pup and got the guy's attention, instantly regretting not picking the pup up and running. He mumbled some sort of something in hipster language to which I replied with nothing. I don't speak hipster.

Don't be fooled by my ranting I love letting Pocky off leash. In the designated, proper venue. She is great off leash and if she saw a pigeon in the middle of the road no amount of training or anything could keep her from running after it. She's a dog. It's what they do. If you don't believe in leashing your dog because of some sort of misplaced cruelty issues than A. don't get a dog or B. don't live in a metropolis.

Man, I had more but this is getting pretty long. Maybe I'll continue this tomorrow and make it like a cliffhanger. I'm excited that I have something to write about for two consecutive days! Here's how I'm going to leave it.

You know what else pisses me off?

to be continued...


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

feeeeelings

Mike started a blog yesterday and that made me mad cause bloggies are my thing and he's always trying to take my things. Instead of punching him in his sleep like I usually do I decided the only way to fight fire with fire is to write my bloggie more. HA take that!

I just killed a spider at work today and it's always such an ordeal. I hate spiders. I know, I know I hate many things. Too many some people/jerks might say. I suppose I should rephrase then and say that spiders scare the bejeesus out of me. Sometimes I think it's cause they move so fast but then I see slow ones and they scare me even more. I can't really put my finger on why they scare me so much really, but they do. Give me a bed of snakes any day. So, anyway, I was struggling with my cabinet door that sticks and the whole thing rolled a little and a spider ran out. I immediately went into panic mode. The thing that goes hand in hand with me hating spiders is the fact that killing a spider makes me feel bad. Killing anything makes me feel bad. When I was little I used to run out onto our driveway after it rained and throw worms back into the yard cause I was sad that they were out there all exposed. To this day if I see a worm struggling on a sidewalk I'll try to get it back to the dirt. I'm not lying - I did it at the park the other day. What can I say, I'm a weirdo. I feel empathy for EVERYTHING non-human. It's one of my weaknesses.

So I'm standing there in a panic cause there is a spider running towards my chair but I don't want to kill it. Conversely, I also can't capture it and throw it outside cause that would require me to get close to said spider and that is an impossibility. For a split second I feel like screaming and running away is my best option. I'm at work tho, and that would be ridiculous. I stifle my scream and my mind races, I have to make a decision. The spider must have decided the chair wasn't a viable option because he (yes all spiders are he's) is now running towards my purse. MY PURSE for christ sakes. I spot a stack of papers waiting for the shredder. That's it! I'll put that heavy paper on it and if the spider was killed, so be it. It wasn't actually me that was killing it then. It was the paper. I threw the stack down on it and the spider didn't crawl out the other end. It was over. A wave of guilt washed over me. In fact, as I write this now I feel terrible. Hopefully sharing this with you all will absolve the guilt just a little bit but it probably won't. Maybe I should go to a hypnotist and have him/her make me think that spiders are as cute as little puppies. Then if I saw one I would just pick it up and cuddle it.

I just almost passed out while typing that.