Thursday, June 11, 2009

BLAM!

I didn't know what to put for the subject line today so I decided to just type the first thing that popped into my head and that happened to be BLAM! So there you go. Maybe it's cause I sometimes want to make people explode with my mind...ok...all the time. There was an episode of Penn and Teller's Bullshit once that said how the world would be a much better place if every woman had a gun. A pink gun I believe, to make it sexier. I think the world would be a much better place if I were able to explode people with my mind. I can't promise I would only use the power for good but I can promise I would def. explode bad people first. The only catch would be keeping it a secret. I couldn't let people know of my powers cause then the government would steal me and make me do their bidding until I broke out or died. I've seen enough movies to know that is a given. I hope that my powers would include an option to just blow up a hand or an eyeball too. So I could use that when people were crappy but not crappy enough to warrant death.

I wonder if I would get more tolerant of people or less. I suppose I could go the tempting route and just blow everyone up that bugs me. The other day I went to the boutique pet store to get cheese treats for Pocky and there were some girls in there that were waiting to get their stupid puff ass dog back from getting groomed. And the leader girl would not get out of my fucking way. She was sitting on the table in front of the counter talking on her phone so I had to reach over and around her to pay and shit. The entire time this was going on she was staring at me with a mix of vacancy and conceit that only the few chosen girls posses. You know that look of stupidity and hate but sorta deep down she secretly wants to be me cause I am not a raging cunt bag? Their eyes tell stories my friends. The lady who owns that shop was apologetic I could tell but in this economy who can afford to piss off rich chicks that like to spend money on dog nail polish? So I made my purchase and headed for the door not saying a thing. On my way out tho one of the other girls in the store sensed that the whole thing was ridiculous sorta apologized and the way I saw it I had 3 choices:
1. tell her it's ok cause luckily for them I deal with dumb bitches all day long
2. just smile back and say nothing
3. tell her that she can break out of this bullshit, leave these bitches behind, take off the leggings and live a better and much more fulfilling life.

I chose 2 cause I was trying to be the bigger person. But now let's say I could blow people up with my mind?! How would that have gone down? Would I have exploded the leader and hoped that a new one didn't step up into place? Would I have exploded all of them because of the choices they had made? Would I have exploded the dog cause it was annoying and inbred and better off dead than in a Burberry sweater? The more I think about it the more I realize that I probably wouldn't have exploded any of them. I don't think I could. I can't see justifying murder of some dumb bitch in the same category as say...Kim Jong-Il. Once I started on those type of annoyances where would it stop? Would I end up killing the guy at Safeway who has 20 items in the 15 items or less line? What if he was the Dr. that found the cure for cancer. What if I leave him alive and he finds the cure but charges a ridiculous amount of money so that no one can afford it and people still die? And before you know it the person behind me is kicking the back of my heels waiting for me to stop staring at the guy in front of me and put my shit on the counter. Then I'd become a douchebag to that person and then maybe I would have to blow myself up.

Or at very least a toe.

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