Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Dun da da dun....dun da da

I saw Indy 4 last Thursday. My job got us all tickets. I was going to write this that day as soon as I saw it but I wanted to wait and let things marinate for awhile to see if I did still feel the way I felt about it Thursday.

I am a HUGE Indiana Jones fan as anyone who knows me can attest to. Hell...my dad's ringer on my phone is the Indy theme (partly because he looks like Harrison Ford) And I have to say....and it pains me....it was OK. Yes, just OK. I had really really really high hopes. I really like Shia and Cate and I thought they would make good additions to the group. And they did....sort of. For the amount of time that they had to make/write this movie I expected a little more. It seems like just when it got classic Indy style it would get all stupid. Case in point: *not really a spoiler* There is a wicked, classic, knock into each others' cars chase scene thru the jungle. (cool) Then Shia gets caught up in some vines. Then he meets some terrible looking CG monkeys. In the next minute he is swinging Tarzan style thru the jungle with the monkeys who apparently are now his allies. (lame) Then he swings into the car and the terrible looking CG monkeys attack the "bad guy" car for absolutely no reason. (lame x 5)

I may be totally off base here but I just can't help but think that every little thing that is just this side of total crap is George Lucas' fault. Why can't someone reel that dude in? What happened to him in the 90's that caused him to be unable to write a decent story? I am not a huge Star Wars fan but I can totally admire that amount of story telling ability. And as previously stated...I love the first 3 Indiana Jones. If I ever meet him that is the first thing I will ask. "Hey George, what the hell happened to your brain in the 90's?"

There was a really cool side plot going on that would have made it hands down a better movie. But nooooooo he has to muck it all up and make a sharp left straight down stupid lane.
Throughout the entire movie I just kept having this nagging thought that there could have been such a cool story here, but it was being kept just out of reach.

I don't want to give out any plot spoilers for the 3 people that read this but can someone please PLEASE tell George how magnets work? I think he might have missed that day in school. So all in all...the Indy parts that were Indy parts were awesome. The story was not so awesome. You should go see it tho. It is good to see him back, and then go watch Raiders and you will be fine.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Babies, time and the things I need to do

My boss's wife is having a baby today and I have been thinking about it all morning. I was thinking about how my mom already had my sister at my age and had me before she was 30. That seems insane to me because of where I am in my life. Sure in 1977 things were different and she is way more organized than I will ever be but still. I really abhor the whole "I can barely take care of myself...blah blah blah" But sometimes it feels like truer words were never spoken. I mean it's not like I would let the kid sit in a closet and starve or anything, I know how to take care of a child but I get scared for my boss just thinking about it. Being responsible for another tiny life? I freak out now and think that my pup is sick with some terrible illness every damn day. And she is totally healthy. I wonder if I will feel more prepared when the time comes. I wonder if you ever feel prepared for that.

So that got me thinking about the passage of time. How time seemed to go so slowly thru high school (probably because I hated it) and these days it seems like it is flying. But then on a Friday afternoon before you have an awesome weekend planned time will seem to stop. And while you are banging your head on your desk in frustration your friend could be scrambling to try and get something finished - watching the clock like it is going double fast. It is weird that time is such an established thing, old as...well...time and yet it can feel so wishy-washy.

So that got me thinking about the things I want to do in my life. So I started to make a list. All the things- little and big that I would like to do, see, experience, become. It was interesting how many things I thought of once I got started. Someday I hope to get thru them all. Or at least a huge chunk of them. But today as I look at the clock moving EXTRA slow...all I want is this. Me, Momo and Mike sitting right here:

Friday, May 9, 2008

Bring me the funny!

I was going to go with the inevitable "bringing funny back" title. But then I realized there might be a paper thin chance that someone other than Mike actually reads this. So I thought the association to Justin Timberlake could be a potential deal breaker for my growing (fingers crossed) audience. Hence the non pop culture referenced title.

Good.
Now that we have that taken care of.

I had the scariest dream last night. An no...this isn't going to be a bloggie all about my freaky ass dreams. Although it could be if I wanted it to be...cause it is my spot o' blog and I shall do with it what I wish. Anyway...this dream was so scary when I woke up from it I woke Mike up from a dead sleep and made him check out the apartment. I was really scared. I had to snuggle up next to him and momo even tho there is a freak heat wave happening in the Bay Area and it was like 9 million degrees in our bedroom. I can't even remember what it was about except there was an apartment building and freaky people after me. The weird thing is that I think I have had this dream before. Reoccurring nightmares are such a bitch. I was surprised tho by the severeness of the dream only because last night was my favorite night of the week. It was Thursday and that is a good TV night. And no I am not talking about Lost you losers. That show sucks...get over it.

I'm so happy that shows are back to being truly funny again. Before this new line up started I couldn't remember when I had actually laughed out loud at a sitcom. Obviously leaving out certain exceptions like "Arrested Development" and "The Simpsons". Shows like "My Name is Earl", "The Office", "30 Rock"...these shows are reaffirming my belief that TV can be really funny. Even SNL has been funny lately. And I'm not talking about cheap laughs. I'm talking about laugh out loud funny. This makes me happy. Don't get me wrong...I love my drama. Law and Order will always top my list. But who doesn't have a soft spot in their hearts for some good ole' fashioned 1/2 hour of funny?

(quote from 30 Rock) Liz:

Hi. I'm really sorry about what I did, and I know that you can't forgive me, but just to even things out, here's all my weird secret stuff. I have been sexually rejected by not one, but two guys who later went to clown college. I get super nervous whenever I hear a vacuum cleaner because when I was a kid my mom used to turn on the vacuum to drown out the sound of her and my dad fighting, which is why I rarely vacuum my apartment, like never. I have had three donuts so far today. Once in college, I pooped my pants a little bit at a Country Steaks all-you-can-eat buffet and I didn't leave until I finished my second plate of shrimp. A couple months ago, I went on a date with my cousin. Wow... I am a mess. There is an 80% chance in the next election that I will tell all my friends that I'm voting for Barack Obama but I will secretly vote for John McCain. Here's one, when I was a kid I used to put on my fanciest nightgown and then I would mix orange soda and cream soda in a champagne glass and sit in the dark and watch The Love Boat. Consequently, I have some weird sexual fantasy stuff about Gopher from The Love Boat. And I lied, I have had five donuts today. So that's my deal, now we're even.

Classic.

The other thing about this new trend that makes me happy is the emergence of hilariously funny female comedic writers and actors. Like my own personal favorites Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. And my quickly rising idol Kristin Wiig. These ladies personify funny in a way that makes you have to respect them. And I love them for it. They aren't ditzy funny, skanky funny, or bitchy funny. They are just funny. Yay for funny!

And I am sorry to you Lost people for calling your show stupid (no I'm not) and by the way...Heroes sucks too! HAHA

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Gum

I saw a commercial last night for gum that said that Extra sugar-free gum was a new and delicious 5 calorie snack. What the fuck?! Since when is gum a snack? Chips, nuts, pretzels, popcorn, cookies, these are snacks. Gum is not. Gum is barely a member of the candy family. But the ad did tell me that I could go from "nice gut" to "nice butt" so it must be magic gum. And if that is the case then they are marketing it all wrong.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Socrates McFadden and comic lore

I've been getting these spam mails in my hotmail account lately and the names that they come from are totally awesome. Is it wrong that the fake people from Spamtown seem cooler than your real friends and family? Examples: Socrates McFadden, Abioye Pitts, Nemisis Block?! I want to live in Spamtown! I can change my name and sell Viagra for 2.99.

In other news!

I saw Iron Man this weekend and I really liked it. I thought it was really well done. I am a "late bloomer" when it comes to comics and things of that nature. I was a tomboy growing up but I was an outside/sporty tomboy so I kinda missed out on the whole comic culture. I didn't really start to know or care about anything comic related until I started really hanging out with the boy that would become my husband. I walked into his room for the first time 7ish years ago and was assaulted by the hundred comics on his wall (not to mention the early 80's space wallpaper that looked like it was printed on crazy red and blue graph paper behind the comics). I was instantly fascinated and to be honest felt kinda sorry for my little empty, drab walls at home.

I am an avid reader and I always lumped comics in the category of magazines...and boy was I wrong. I would ask Mike about some of the covers that caught my eye and he would tell me the story. I got really interested in some of them and then he would start to tell me the "mythos" (some went back a good 30 years or more!) behind certain characters and stories. I was honestly floored. I had no idea comics were so enthralling. I liked that they could pack huge stories in a few pages and the tension could continue along book by book. My favorites started to become X-men because it was one where the ladies really truly kicked some major ass

and of course Batman. I've always liked Batman...but the Michael Keaton Batman I knew and loved paled in comparison to the stories Mike would tell me about. Having a contingency plan on how to destroy every member of the JLA in case they started trouble?! Kyrptonite gloves to beat the hell out of Supes?! Priceless. Then I read the Dark Knight and we started watching the animated series by Bruce Timm and I was friggin hooked. I would move to Gotham right this second if it were a real place. And I would start a gang with Ivy and Harley Quinn. Nah, screw it...it is my make believe story...I would be Harley Quinn.

Except I would take less shit from Joker.

Next came the HeroClix, and the trips to the comic shop, and the game where Mike would say the "super name" and I would have to figure out their real name. I know I sound like a dork when I talk about this stuff to other people but I don't care. Some of the most interesting conversations I have had in the last 10 years have been about comic stuff.

So, I saw Iron Man. And loved it! And I stayed after the credits and saw the secret part. And I cheered! And I felt a swell of pride when I cheered because I not only knew what they were talking about(which it seems few did)...I had his whole goddamn HeroClix team! And got the power attack bonus too, biyatch! And I gotta tell you, it feels good to be part of this dork nation. Even if I am a noob.
Clearly this last part is a rub to all of those English teachers that told me I couldn't start sentences with "and!"

And I am done.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Why are you 40 and on a scooter?!

I take the train everyday to work.



It isn't the most fun thing in the whole world but it is $106.00 for an entire month of travel... back and forth as many times as I want. Take THAT gas! HAHA, suckers. So in taking the train I see a lot of stupid things. Mostly because there is a large concentration of people on trains and people are stupid.

For example: This morning I was arriving at my stop which happens to be the end of the line, San Francisco. It is uber busy during the commute times...cause...well...it's a train station during rush hour. I was sitting in my chair (aisle seat) listening to music with my eyes closed. I'm sorta half sleep in the morning cause it is boring and reading on the train makes me sick. So, I am sitting there and, mind you, we are a good 5-7 minutes away from actually stopping. Suddenly the woman next to me decides that she would like to leave and get in the line that forms when antsy people can't wait to get off the train...RIGHT NOW. So she precedes to hit me with her purse. This startles me so I open my eyes and look over at her like "Whatthefuck?!" is written on my forehead. She is hovered over me looking as if she is ready to climb me like Everest... so she can stand in line... to wait... for the train to stop... in 5 minutes. So in fear of getting hit by her "it took the entire cow to make" purse, again, I stand up and let her out. But now I have no where to go so I am stuck standing. Blast! I need to get a bigger bag.

Now when you exit the train there is only one way to go so it is basically like a herd of cattle heading to the slaughter. Everyone trudges along heading to their respective shitty jobs. Except for the group of people I lovingly call Wheeltards. These are the people that if we were all cows would get tazed (btw tazed is not really a word but I refuse to change it) because they jack up the whole process. The WT (as I call them in my head) this morning that I wish I could've tazed was a 40 something year old business man. Who was trying to unfold his razor scooter in the middle of the stampede. As he swung the thing around and it hit my shin I started to wonder; What possesses a 40-something year-old man to ride a razor scooter? What causes him to think... "Hey, I have to get from here to there and I want to do it .02 seconds faster than those schmucks walking."? And "Hey...those 8 year-olds in my neighborhood that have them look really bitchin' and I'm just sooooooo jealous of them."

Watching him mess with it made me think of when my cousin used to give his Transformers to my mom so she could help him change them to the "more than meets the eye" part. And he would look up at her, and she at him, and they would just stare at each other. My mom couldn't change them into anything. She couldn't do it because THEY WERE FOR KIDS. And as we all know, kids are just smarter at shit like that. Those 8 year-olds on his block could probably make that scooter ridable in 3 seconds blindfolded underwater. But Mr. Need for Speed was messing up the whole system. HE is a Wheeltard. Other wheeltards include people with wheelie bags and people with strollers but when the kid is replaced by Macy's bags. Bikes aren't included because those people are persecuted on the train so they know their shit and do it perfectly. Yeah...wheeltards...I gotta get a tazer.