Friday, July 17, 2009

Random Friday bulllllshit

Woohoo 3 days in a row of writing. And yes, I am counting today even tho it's random friday bullshit day. It counts...

I realized WAY too late the other night that the show I was zoned out watching was Big Brother After Dark on Showtime and I had just spent a good 25 minutes watching strangers eat.

Isn't it amazing how one person can seemingly take up an entire sidewalk when you are rushing to get somewhere?

I can have the shittiest day ever and somehow a 20 minute walk with my pup can make me feel so much better. Thanks dogs you guys are awesome.

I woke up this morning with the worst calf cramp I've had in a really long time and my brain kept trying to make me just fall right back asleep instead of doing something about the cramp. Stupid brain.

I don't think I could hate anything more than rich celebrities that are stupid assholes that don't deserve one cent of the money they have. You get one chance to be a decent person, when you fuck up you get your money taken away and given to those who need it. ONE chance.

These are the things I'd like to have within walking distance to me and it's never going to happen. Good pizza, Dairy Queen, Pet Food Express, Target, and a great homey bar.

I just remembered that I put something in the washer like 8 days ago and haven't put it in the dryer yet...dammit!

Why do eggs make me sick all the sudden? Maybe I never even liked eggs.

If I was on a deserted island and could only have 3 things I would pick Mike, my dog and peanut butter. Not very helpful I know but at least I would be happy.

I wonder sometimes if I am really really crazy and everyone I meet is just humoring me?

I think I'd have an easier time killing a person than an animal. I'm not saying I'd like to do either I just think I'd feel worse about one of them.

Baby hippos are adorable.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Ahh Thursday...

Since this is like the first consecutive bloggie I've written I figure I should tie in yesterday's with a little side note so you 3 people that read this know I am consistent. I didn't see a stingray yesterday although I did sorta get a headache from staring at water for 20 minutes. Bummer all around.

Aaaaanywhom, Did you ever think that you should have lived in another decade? I think about that all the time. A couple weekends ago we saw Public Enemies with Johnny Depp. Well, it was starring Johnny Depp, I didn't go see it with him. Although it would have made for a much more interesting bloggie. I really want to live in the late 20's early 30's. Granted, I am basing this wholly on the History Channel, books and movies, but just feel very connected to times that are not the present. I love the aesthetic of the 20's thru the 50's. It's something that has always been with me I think. I remember watching movies like Roger Rabbit (super stylized late 40's) or even Indiana Jones (WWII times) and thinking about the dress and language - just a feeling that things were different. It seemed like everything had more character. Obviously I enjoy the freedoms that I have today and I have no doubt that it was some tough living during the first 50 years of the 1900's. I know I could end up being some subservient little wife to a guy that treats me like a slave and I would probably just have to take it. BUT I could also have been one of those ladies that bucked the system. I could have been an Emelia Earhart or Eleanor Roosevelt. Hell I could have been a criminal(waaaay more likely)like Bonnie Parker. I mean look at this pic of her:That chick knew what she wanted out of life...and it was a good car and good man and someone else's money. I can totally get behind that!

I'd just like to see what it was like to live in a time where everything took a little more effort and you had to pay attention to the little things. Where daily struggles actually made you stronger and more inventive. Sure, maybe you only lived to be 38 but think of all the fun you had during those 38 years. I think I'll try to take that mentality and shove it into today's time. I'll just pretend like it's 1934 or 1947. So don't be alarmed if you see me running around with hair that took me 4 hours to do with a bag of money screaming "I'll fill you full of daylight you dirty copper! I'll fit you for a Chicago overcoat, I own this apple!"

"All my life I wanted to be a bank robber. Carry a gun and wear a mask. Now that it's happened I guess I'm just about the best bank robber they ever had. And I sure am happy."
John Dillinger

You shred it, wheat.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Fine...don't care about cool stuff..jerks

Anyone who reads this bloggie knows that I am no stranger to being pissed off. Especially at the residents of this glorious town I reside in. (BTW, I'm not going to apologize for not writing for a month like I usually feel compelled to do. I was busy...fuck off) Yesterday evening I was walking Pocky and feeling pretty good. I'd had a workday crammed FULL of bullshit and turmoil but it was really nice out and seeing Pox so happy at just walking with me always makes me feel better. We went to the park and saw the small dog clique that both she and I feel uncomfortable with because we both know that she is waaaaay cooler than those stuck up puffy bitches. I've heard that Einstein thought the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I must be insane then cause for some reason every time I approach this group I expect to have a different conversation and I always end up walking away slowly shaking my head. It always goes down like this :

The gaggle of rich SF ladies with strollers for their dogs: ooooooooh what a cute chihuahua!
Me: thanks, but actually she's a pug miniature pinscher mix.
The gaggle: (now somehow already pissed at me) oh....she looks like a chihuahua
Me: yeah, I guess
The gaggle: what's her name?
Me: Apocalypse Momo Von Doom. Pocky for short
The gaggle: Pokey?
Me: Pocky..like hockey with a P.
Meanwhile during this conversation, out of the corner of my eye I see their dead eyed dogs rolling around in each other's shit, neurotically trying to get the necklaces, bracelets, barrettes, and little coats off before they lose that last smidge of dog credibility they once might have had.
The gaggle: well my little missy princess here is a pomeranian bichon mix.
Me: (trying to stifle the chuckles)coooOOOooool, she looks....puffy.

By now I have remembered that this is always how these conversations go and we start to quickly walk towards the edge of the park. Last night I bid The gaggle adieu a little too late and they ended up being right behind me. I always stop and look out over the channel when we are on the bridge because I am from Illinois and a water creature freak so the prospect of seeing a sea lion or even a saltwater fish is always on my mind. Last night we were looking out and Pocky chuffed at something the exact same moment I saw a weird swirly happening on the surface of the water. I looked closer and saw a stingray gliding near the surface about to go under the bridge. I lost my shit and turned to the nearest person while pointing and screaming "lookit...there's a fucking stingray right there!" The gaggle looked at me like I had just said "lookit....there's fucking water right there!" and walked past. I tried to take a picture but only had my stupid phone and in my struggle to hold on to Pox and not drop my phone in the water I wasn't able to catch anything but green. I was super pumped but bummed that nobody else thought it was cool. Then I realized that I should be happy that I thought it was cool and if those vapid whores didn't care about it, it was their loss. Maybe if it was wearing some bling and was named Sissy they would have cared.