I was just thinking last night...

Wow, I haven't written anything on here since July. That is a long fucking time. I think it is because I have been trying to get together a book. So all of my errant thoughts have gone onto paper. I know, I know, it seems a bit old fashioned but my best thoughts seem to come to me where a computer is not only unavailable but totally inappropriate. Like in the middle of the night or in the shower. I guess paper and pencil is a little ridiculous in the shower too but you know what I mean. I think I am going to get some of those crayons that you can draw with in the shower so I can remember stuff. But because this blog isn't meant to be the story of the shower I shall move the hell on.

This bloggie is about some thoughts I was having last night before I went to bed. I was thinking about Mike, my husband. Our relationship ALWAYS seems to be the target for criticism. True, it is always people that I don't care about enough to actually talk to them for real and it is always a very "outside looking in" comment on us...but it still pisses me off. I happen to feel that we have an extremely strong partnership. So I got to thinking why it is always questioned and I think I figured it out. People still have such a fucked up view on what happiness is and what the reality of two people going thru life is that it makes us look weird. My Gram always used to say that she knew we were going to be together forever because we can call each other retards, laugh, talk about some sticky situation we are in and then kiss all in the span of 5 minutes...while driving in the car...while Mike is on the phone. We just try to be real. I was telling a story to a former co worker of mine once and by the time I was done you would have thought I told her about how I raped her cat. I was telling her about when we got married (at a state park for less than 2 grand btw) we left the reception and went back to the room...and soon got hungry and bored. So we called up some friends of ours to see if they wanted to go to Denny's. So on our "wedding night" we had an awesome meal and conversation with friends. That is fun for us. We could have sat in the suite with candles and stared into each others' eyes but that would have been totally lame. So she was horrified (I believe her wedding cost about as much as a house-and horses and crowns were involved) but that is how we are. We are weirdly independent and at the exact same time I need him more than air.

So, why does it bother me so much that people constantly want to say we are wrong and have a weak relationship? Normally I would say thanks, fuck off, and that would be that. But this really bothers me. I think it is because with ALL of the the stuff that I fuck up in my life I strive to make my relationship good. I may falter here and there with some things because I have a fucking hurricane in my brain at all times but I really try to make this good. And It makes me mad when people put all of their weird fucked up stuff on me. So, this is what I was thinking about last night before I went to sleep. I told you it was a hurricane in there. Thanks for reading...